It's Almost Christmas!

Where has the time gone???  I cannot believe that Christmas is in just a few days and it's been almost 10 months since John has been with us.  He arrived here from Ukraine at the beginning of March.  We just celebrated Christmas with my parents who live in Chapel Hill and exchanged presents with each other.  This is because we are driving (well, I'm driving and Paul is flying:) to Paul's mom's house and staying there until the 26th.  Paul's dad passed away earlier this month at the age of 86 so we are going up to NJ to be with Paul's mom and only sibling, Tricia.   We are sad that Paul (Paul's dad) is no longer with us, but we know that he in heaven with many old friends who had died before him.  He was a wonderful Christian man.  Christmas won't be the same without him.  Thankfully Santa knows where we are going, so we are excited for his arrival.  I CANNOT imagine all that has been going through John's head this month. Meeting Santa a few times (including seeing him on the computer talking directly to him by name, thanks to www.portablenorthpole.com, meeting an elf, and hearing all about flying reindeer and toys being made at the North Pole.  I felt for him while he was watching elves put "his file" on portablenorthpole.com in a the machine to see if he was naughty or nice.  You could tell he was hoping so badly that the green light on top of the machine would turn on and not the red one.  I can't imagine the parent how would ask for the red light to come on!?  He has also learned some fun and meaningful Christmas songs, played a sheep in a Christmas pageant and has gone to a birthday party for Jesus at our church.  He goes to a wonderful Christian preschool where he hears all about Jesus, his life and the good news of his coming as a baby to live and die for our sins.  It is absolutely amazing what he has learned and how well he speaks English now.  I cannot get him to say words in Russian anymore.  I did use the Google Translate a couple of weeks ago to ask him some "yes" or "no" questions in Russian.  I think that he understood because he did answer "yes" or "no" correctly to the questions.  It's sad that he is completely losing the language that he apparently spoke so well.  He could go to Russian school here in town every Sat., but he refuses to speak when we run in to our friend from Ukraine who is a cashier at Target so I don't think he would enjoy that.  Anyway, John is doing well in school and seems to get along well with his peers.  He actually has two birthday parties to go to this afternoon:).  We are so thankful to God that he is still very healthy and happy, enjoying school and his friends.  The only thing that I worry about is that I haven't spent much time helping him learn the letters of the alphabet and or how to write the letters.  He will start "Handwriting without Tears" with a tutor in the new year.  Even though they have this program at his preschool, I think that he would benefit from the one on one time.  I know that his gross motor skills are fine...I just worry that his fine motor skills need some work.  He LOVES to play sports and is on a city basketball team.  He can dribble pretty well...we just need to work on getting the ball to reach the hoop.  Honestly, I am embarrassed to admit that Scott and I are still adjusting to having him around.  Paul, Nicole, and Jimmy are also; however, they don't spend the same amount of time with him as Scott and I do.  John is so obedient (probably still worried that he may have to go back to the orphanage, which is sad) and wants to please, which is very nice.  I'm sure that the day will come when he will feel comfortable enough to let down his guard and be more defiant.  It's just been harder than I thought it would be to bond to a child who is already dressing himself, eating, walking, and speaking (non-stop).  I had not thought about how it would be different from birthing a child and having all that bonding time when they are an infant.  Scott and John play a lot together and get along well for the most part.  I just think that it's been hard for Scott to suddenly have another sibling to deal with all the time.  As of just a few days ago, Nicole moved down to her "new" room on the 1st floor (I don't blame her for not wanting to sleep on the main level of our house when the rest of us are all upstairs) so Scott has been sleeping in Nicole's old room on the 2nd floor and not sharing the bunk bed with John.  This has helped out a lot because John and Scott are not waking each other up early in the morning anymore.  I am going to have to change that room from pink to blue for John in the new year so that he can finally be settled in to his own space (and not Scott's:).  God is faithful and I am hoping and believing that Scott and I will embrace him fully and not see him as the newly adopted child in our family.  I want us to love him unconditionally just like God loves us unconditionally.  If you think of us, please pray that this would happen sooner than later!  

Some More Photos from Earlier this Month

Down at the pier in Emerald Isle with our friends from Chicago

In Emerald Isle for the 4th of July

Our new little American

Part of the reason I haven't blogged much since I've been back from Ukraine is that we have a new Mac and I don't really know what I'm doing on it yet!  I can tell that it's going to be great, but in the meantime everything is taking me a little longer while I'm figuring things out.  Our dear friends from Chicago came to visit us at the beach over the 4th of July weekend.  Nicole was in heaven getting to be with three girls everyday.  The boys had just as much fun though.  Their girls are so sweet.  They adopted their youngest from China years ago and they were very encouraging to me.  I will have to write more later because it's 1:30 a.m. and we are leaving this morning for 10 days.  We are picking up Jimmy from camp and I cannot wait to see him.  He's been gone for 2 weeks and I'm dying to hear how he liked it.  He wrote us a lot of funny letters, but he kept mentioning that he missed us so I hope he's glad that he went.  It's been over 100 degrees here so we are looking forward to a little cooler weather.  We will be meeting up with five families from TX, IL, and MD at a place called Camp of the Woods.  It's a Christian family resort that is on a beautiful lake.  We have been going there since Jimmy and Nicole were babies and Paul has been going since he was a child.  John is going to be in heaven with 17 of our friends' kids to play with everyday, most of which are boys, and that's not including all of the other kids that will be there.  He is very social and has had a great time at camp this week.  Then we will head to Stowe, VT for a lacrosse tournament for Jimmy.  Maybe I'll bring my laptop and blog from there.

Is Anybody Out There? A Brief Update on John

I am sorry that I have completely fallen out of the blogging world!  We so appreciated the support and prayers of those of you who followed us on this journey to adopt John and are very grateful for your friendship.  Just to give you (if there is anyone reading this) a brief update, John is doing amazingly well.  He is healthy and his English has come a long way.  The only Russian word that he still uses is the word for "and".  He can communicate with us and and with most people,  although sometimes he's hard to understand because of his accent.  He is getting along well with his siblings.  Nicole is like a second mother to him and he really didn't want Jimmy to go away to camp last week.  He looks up to Jimmy and wants to play sports with him whenever possible.  John and Scott play together a lot since they are the closest in age and at times there are conflicts, but for the most part, things are going pretty smoothly.  Scott is learning to share his room, his toys (except for his Lego creations, which go on the top shelf), and his mom and dad.  John has gone to a Vacation Bible School at the church we attend at the beach and a day camp from 9-12 this past week.  He has gotten along well with the other children, has enjoyed playing with kids his own age, and has learned some fun Christian songs.  Today he saw a live monkey, alligator, owl, and snake at camp, which he was very excited about.  Thankfully he LOVES to swim at the beach and in a pool so we have spent a lot of time at both of those places.  We will go away this Friday for a week in the Adirondacks and then we will be home until school starts because Nicole will have to be around for Middle School volleyball practice.  It seems hard to believe that the summer is getting closer to the end than the beginning!  John has attached well to the family and loves receiving hugs and attention.  I think that Scott and I have struggled in attaching to him.  Scott has lost his position as the baby of the family and has had to learn how to be a big brother.  For me, not having those years of bonding with an infant or even a toddler makes connecting with an older child harder than I thought it would be.  I am trusting the Lord that it will continue to get easier each day and am thankful that John is a healthy and smart little boy.  I will post more later.

It's Been a Good Week

I can't believe that John and I have been home for over a week.  In some ways it seems like I just got home, but in other ways it seems like John has been with us for a long time.  For the most part, he seems to be adjusting very well.  He still is speaking in Russian, but is slowly adding English words like "bless you, thank you, hello, good-bye, more, all done".  Sometimes he calls me "mom" instead of "mama" from hearing what the other kids call me, which always makes me chuckle.  He also sings "Jesus Loves Me" several times a day and almost everytime when he is on our swing set.  We are glad he is sleeping through the night, but he only falls asleep if Paul or I lie down with him.  He is eating most of the food we put in front of him and he even had a few bites of pizza tonight.  He usually says "neeyet" (which means "no") and pushes the plate away, but after a few minutes he will pull it back and start eating.  He loves Chick-Fil-A, especially the fries, which we are going to visit often to put a few pounds on him.  We are having some challenges in getting him into the new routine, like changing his clothes in the morning or for bed.  When he doesn't get his way, he will say "neeyet", will turn away, fold his arms and pout.  We are ignoring this behavior and he usually changes his attitude in a few minutes.  He is affectionate and sweet and seems to be bonding to everyone in the family very well, including Sophie, our lab.  He checks on her throughout the day and gives her lots of hugs and kisses.  He likes taking her on walks and chasing her in the backyard.  Sophie has never gotten this much attention!

John can't wait for "Neecole", "Jeemmy", and "Scotch" to come home from school everyday.  He has met and played well with the kids in the neighborhood, but not for any long length of time.  I am trying to just hang out with him at home during the week so that he doesn't have to deal with more stress and changes in his life.  I did bring him to the pool last week, which he loved.  He asks me everyday if "Mama ee Vadeek sweem"?  There is a public pool in town that is very warm and shallow so he can splash around in it without my having to worry about him.  Thankfully he is trying to swim and is not afraid of the water.  He loves to wear his swim goggles around his neck everyday whether we are going to the pool or not.  I took him to the pediatrician last Wed. and he is in the 60th percentile for height and weight and doesn't seem to have any health problems.  He will also be entering a new program at Duke for internationally adopted children.  From what I understand, a specialist comes to your house for 10 sessions to help your new child and the family adjust to one another.  I go to Duke on Thurs. to have John evaluated and learn more about the program.  I am thrilled that he can participate in this and that it's covered by insurance:)  When I was hanging out with Nicole tonight, we talked about what adoption means and how God grafts us into his family tree.  Eventhough we are not in His lineage by birth, He, by grace, grafts us into his family tree and calls us His children.  We are so blessed!          

We Made It Home!!

We were picked up at 3:00 a.m. on Sat. and made it from Kiev to Frankfurt without any problems.  There were a total of six adoptive families flying back to the states on that flight, which made it fun.  We then arrived in Chicago from Frankfurt and were told in Customs that we would never make our flight.  It was boarding in a half an hour.  As soon as the man said that, it made me that much more determined to try to make it.  Once John was cleared through Immigration, we literally ran through the Chicago airport.  Unfortunately, a United employee had given us the wrong terminal number so we had to sprint through another two terminals to make it just as they were closing the doors to the jet way.  Praise God!  The next flight to Raleigh was diverted to Charlotte and didn't get in until 1:00 a.m.  Our luggage was delivered to us the next day.  John was so good on the flights.  He must have played with the head set he had been given for about an hour and the plastic fork and knife also intrigued him for a good 45 minutes.  I couldn't believe how he sat in his seat for hours on end without complaining!

We arrived to friends and family at the airport holding signs and welcome home banners.  I couldn't have been happier to see everyone.  My kids and our friends' kids had grown so much!  John was a little shy at first, but then warmed up to all of the children playing with balloons and eating lollipops.  It was fun to get to catch up with everyone a little bit.    

When we got home, there were balloons and a welcome home banner across the garage.  Paul and the kids had thought of everything.  They had gotten us flowers, presents, and even a welcome home cake with American and Ukrainian flags on it for dessert.  John was speaking non-stop in Russian.  We had no idea what he was saying, so we would laugh and laugh, which made him speak even more.  John was so excited to see and play with all the toys in the play room.  He also liked his bunk bed that he is sharing with Scott.  The biggest hit of all though was our yellow lab.  Sophie has a new friend!  He is enamored with her.

When we started this process we felt that God has been so gracious to us and we wanted to extend that to a child.  We have learned so much through this process and know that it has just started.  We have learned a lot about each other, our family, what family means, and more importantly the way God sees us through adoption into His family.  The Bible says in Ephesians 1 "In love, he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ".  We have entered into the family of God through His love.  God has called us His children.  We are able to call out to God as our Father, just as John calls out to me (Paul) as "Papa".  We aren't adopted because we are cute or likable, but simply because of God's grace.  I'm so glad He doesn't go through a checklist to evaluate us, but simply takes us into His family for who we are.  We know for sure that God has watched over us through this process and that He will continue to guide and protect us.

So do not fear, for I am with you;

do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

In Kiev and Coming Home Tomorrow!

John (I call him Vadik, pronounced Vadeek, which is the nickname for Vadim) and I are at a restaurant this morning for breakfast and they have wi-fi.  I'm glad to get reconnected to catch up with emails.   We are staying with Karen Springs, aka Saint, who lives in Kiev and works for Orphan's Promise (I talked about her a few posts ago).  She had a friend come over and made us dinner on Wed. night when we arrived from Odessa.  They both spoke Russian so it has been a great transition for John.  Here's a photo from our dinner.  Yesterday we went to the US Embassy to submit our documents for his visa and for him to see the doctor.  Thankfully everything went smoothly.  It did take all day, but John was great in the car with traffic and a lot of waiting.  I hope he's this good tomorrow with all the flying.  He has had a lot of firsts!  He absolutely LOVES taking a bath.  I think he was in there at least an hour yesterday.  He also loves to use the toilet (thank you Lord) and to push to flush and to push the buttons on elevators (what kid doesn't?).  He sleeps like a rock and I get him up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and I don't think he even wakes up.  Last night we went to dinner at a woman's house that I met last Nov.  She works at the US Embassy and her husband is in the  US Army.  They have two girls, 5 and 9, so they were great entertainment for John.  When he is served food, he will fold his arms and not eat for a few minutes, then he will slowly start to eat everything on his plate.  Well, as I'm writing this, he's not touching his breakfast so maybe that's not always the case!  I hope he will make up for it at lunch.  We have one more hurdle today at the US embassy to get John's visa.  I can't believe we're almost done.  Our flight leaves at 5:30 a.m. tomorrow and I will be travelling with two American women that I've met here, which is nice.  Please pray that we would make our connections and get through Customs and Immigration without any problems. We get back to Raleigh at 5:00 p.m. and can't wait to see you all!!!