We are happy to announce that the last set of documents are going to Kiev this evening. Yipee! Today, we met with the vice-mayor of the town where we are staying. She wanted to know if we had been treated nicely here, which was a suprising question for us. We hadn't been asked anything like that before! Then she thanked us for taking our little boy into our home. She was the nicest official that we've met so far. Now these documents go to the State Dept. of Adoption in Kiev for verification or authentication or something and then they are sent back here so we can go to court next Friday! Paul was supposed to leave this Sun. so we need to change his flight to next Sat. The big question is whether I should stay here for the 10 day waiting period or go home. I miss our kids terribly and would like to get some things done like buy the much talked about bunkbed to put in Scott's room and some clothes for our little guy. If you have adopted in Ukraine and have made a decision to stay for the waiting period or go back to the U.S., we'd love to get your feedback. We've been told that the caregivers tell the child that his mama and papa will be back soon and that they are going to prepare his room for him, or something like that. Then they tie the small photo album of our family around his neck so that the caregivers can remind him of our return for him. I just don't want him to think that we are abandoning him! Our visits with our little guy have continued to be good. He runs to us with open arms every time we come to visit. We have spent every visit outdoors so we get a lot of fresh, cold air and exercise. He is laughing almost the whole time we are with him. I'm not sure I've met anyone that laughs as much as this boy! We think that he is going to be a wonderful addition to our family and praise the Lord that He has given us the chance to be his parents.
 |
| View from our side hotel window |
 |
| These are the goats and dog that keep us up at night - view from our back hotel window |
We are happy to announce that the last set of documents are going to Kiev this evening. Yipee! Today, we met with the vice-mayor of the town where we are staying. She wanted to know if we had been treated nicely here, which was a suprising question for us. We hadn't been asked anything like that before! Then she thanked us for taking our little boy into our home. She was the nicest official that we've met so far. Now these documents go to the State Dept. of Adoption in Kiev for verification or authentication or something and then they are sent back here so we can go to court next Friday! Paul was supposed to leave this Sun. so we need to change his flight to next Sat. The big question is whether I should stay here for the 10 day waiting period or go home. I miss our kids terribly and would like to get some things done like buy the much talked about bunkbed to put in Scott's room and some clothes for our little guy. If you have adopted in Ukraine and have made a decision to stay for the waiting period or go back to the U.S., we'd love to get your feedback. We've been told that the caregivers tell the child that his mama and papa will be back soon and that they are going to prepare his room for him, or something like that. Then they tie the small photo album of our family around his neck so that the caregivers can remind him of our return for him. I just don't want him to think that we are abandoning him! Our visits with our little guy have continued to be good. He runs to us with open arms every time we come to visit. We have spent every visit outdoors so we get a lot of fresh, cold air and exercise. He is laughing almost the whole time we are with him. I'm not sure I've met anyone that laughs as much as this boy! We think that he is going to be a wonderful addition to our family and praise the Lord that He has given us the chance to be his parents.
We stayed for the 10 day wait, but we didn't have other kids at home. I think it's a good time for bonding and getting used to being around each other, but I'd probably be torn if I was in your shoes. Praying for wisdom for you!
ReplyDeletePraying that you will know what to do Diana. Tough decision. Hugs, Tricia
ReplyDeleteWe went home. It was Christmas. Got home on Dec. 23rd. There were to be holiday closings in Ukraine. I did not want to stay alone and my husband had to come back for work. We knew our girl from hosting, she is older, and has seen her friends be adopted so she knew the routine. Still she told me she cried for 2 days asking "Where is my mama and papa?" :(
ReplyDeleteIn the end it was cheaper to come home, I got some stuff done at work, and I needed the break from traveling. When I went back I was pumped up and ready to do this, rather than exhausted, defeated, and ready to go home.
I was happy with my decision, even though it's not what we had planned on for the year leading up to our adoption... but its what we needed and worked out great in the end.
My wife stayed and I came home. I needed to get back to work, relieve my parents watching our kids, and finish preparing for Dennis' arrival. She figured it would be like 4 days of travel for <7 days at home. It would have been slightly cheaper to return home I think... we had planned for her to return originally.
ReplyDeleteI don't think there is a right or wrong answer here. Do you feel comfortable there? How well do you do we traveling (do you get sick?) and timezone changes? How "stable" are things with the environment your new son is in?
My wife felt safe, we arranged for her to be able to spend the time with Dennis, we had some complexities with relatives, wanted to spend more time with his sister who chose not to come [yet], and my wife hates travel... we Skyped nearly daily with webcams the entire 6wk trip. For us it worked out well this way, but there is nothing to say it wouldn't have been fine the other too.
Hello,
ReplyDeleteI just came across your blog after the comment you left on ours. Having three children before we adopted Ali, I understand. It is painfully hard to be away from your children and the homesickness that sets in is intense in Ukraine. Especially because the spiritual bad guys like to harass Christians adopting children.
That said, and having Ali in our house for about five weeks, I would stay for the ten days and bond, attach, and build a solid relationship in his environment before his crash course in travel and coming to America.
In fact, I did stay. For us, the logistics were such that it made more sense for my wife to travel home with the boys.
All of this to say, my heart pains for you because I understand the situation. For me, I was at peace knowing my wife was at home with our kids and they were safe. Your heart will ache fierce for your children at home, but it will pay dividends in the long run if you stay and lay foundation for the tough road ahead.
By tough road ahead, I mean to say that there is going to be a lot of "new" stuff in your family and it is a bit unsettling at times.
God bless your journey and I pray He provides the wisdom you need to make a difficult decision. Either way, everything will work out. I don't think this is a situation of right or wrong, just a case of maybe one option is a bit better than the other. Many blessings. Feel free to email us at home 5mccoys@comcast.net for more dialogue if you would like.
We chose for me (Felix) to stay while Heidi went back home and relieved friends and family from the burden of our large family...both times.
ReplyDeleteIt was more economically feasable for me to stay rather than burn $1200 in airfare. Besides, the bonding time that I got alone with Rimma and Lizzie was worth it all in the end. Lizzie has always been a daddy's girl and I could have left and came back and she would have been ok, but it's been a three year struggle to get her home and I wanted to show her that I was here to see it through. Rimma was quiet and shy with me. My being there and taking her out everyday showed her that I was a strong, reliable dad who would always be there for her and could be trusted. She and I have a stronger bond now because of it.
My thoughts are for one of you to stay. Enjoy the one-on-one time with this child. Before long, you will be missing that as all of your kids clamore for attention.
Felix
hey guys,
ReplyDeletehad a great time with y'all today at lunch and church. It wasn't until we were on the marshrutka headed back for Odessa that we realized that we never paid you back the 50 grieven you loaned us for the taxi!! Sorry about that, let's connect on Saturday when you come through Odessa so we can give it to you. It gives us another chance to see you guys, too. :-) Aaaaarrr, matey! Bob & Andrea